In the scriptures, the Lord tells us to see with “an eye of faith” (Alma 32:40). And although that may be fairly easy to do in such things as missionary work and Priesthood blessings, is it any surprise that He expects it in dating? But how exactly are we supposed to see with “an eye of faith” in LDS dating? It starts with viewing dating not simply as a temporal activity but as a spiritual one, an adventure.
Let’s face it. Finding the right eternal companion is a challenge. It can sometimes seem like a daunting task. For those who have encountered the frustrations of rejection, heartbreak, and shattered hopes, it may even seem impossible. Fortunately, in this life we are not alone. We have been blessed with people—whether they are parents, teachers, and friends—who truly care. Most importantly, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we each have been given an unequaled blessing. It provides comfort, peace, and pure knowledge. It is the Gift of the Holy Ghost.
When I (Chris) was single and looking to find my wife, I became frustrated that things didn’t happen as fast as I wanted them to. Although I saw it happen in movies, my eternal companion never magically appeared on my doorstep and never showed up randomly in my arms. I had read all the books about LDS (Mormon) Dating, taken all the classes about LDS (Mormon) Dating, and literally read every last General Authority quote I could find about the subject. And I still seemed to have no answer for the greatest question of all: Where is she? One Saturday, my best friend and roommate, Patrick, and I were both feeling down. We were bored, a little frustrated, and tired of being single. After playing video games for too long, we got a brilliant idea: we should go outside!
Upon exiting the condo, we could see the Provo valley, but everything—buildings, houses, trees—looked the same. Then, after discussing the possible activities for the day, we decided to climb a mountain. Right behind our condo was a mountain without a name, without a trail, and without a real reason to climb it, except that we were young and felt it would be fun. So, we set out and began our journey. At first, we almost ran up the rock path, defiantly challenging the giant pile of dirt. However, after some close calls, stepping past treacherous turns and slipping often, we became humbled. When we looked at our watches to see that hours had already passed in our ascent to the top, we realized that the challenge was far greater than we had anticipated. The higher we got, the more we stopped to catch our breath. As we hiked, we encouraged each other, trying to lift our spirits to get to the top and finish the journey instead of turning back too soon. When we finally arrived at the peak, we looked back down and saw the entire valley, a panorama of picturesque mountains, lakes, and infinite possibilities. Suddenly, it was all worth it. We had worked through the sweat and exhaustion of the challenge and ultimately arrived at our destination.
Sometimes, Heavenly Father gives us challenges (like dating and selecting the right person to experience eternity with) that are much harder than we realize they will be. In the moment, it is tempting to give up completely and turn around before arriving at our destination. When we rely on Heavenly Father, and endure to the end, we make it possible to expand our vision from the stresses and frustrations of day-to-day living to the grand, magnificent vistas of the “promised land” He has prepared for us.
Dating for exaltation requires faith and great effort (especially dating from an LDS, or Mormon perspective). In life, fearless dating means being bold, taking action, and being led by the Spirit. There are countless examples of righteous people in the scriptures and since the Restoration who have done this. When we (the authors) interviewed one of the great Church scholars Brother Hugh Nibley, right before he passed on, he and his wife shared this experience regarding how they met:
How did you both meet?
Sister Nibley: By the time he was finished with serving in the war, and ready to go back to teaching, Hugh went to the Church offices. Brother Widtsoe, an Apostle, offered Hugh a position at Brigham Young University (BYU) and then said, “But you need to be married.” So, Hugh said, “Alright, if you arrange so the first girl I meet on campus be my intended wife, I’ll do it.” And, I was the first girl he met.
He came to BYU in June after the term had ended, and the campus was almost empty. He came looking for a room and I was working in the housing office, so he asked me for addresses. So, I was the first girl he met.
Did you date?
Sister Nibley: He asked me to go on a picnic with him, we took walks together, ate dinner together in the cafeteria, and he asked me to marry him and we got married in September, right before Fall term started.
Who else but Hugh Nibley could have an experience like that? We each can. No, we might not have that kind of conversation with an Apostle of the Lord, but we each can with the Lord. And, He will guide and direct each of us to our eternal companion. It may not happen in the timing we want it to, but it will happen.
“Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.” (Ether 12:4).
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I really like this article!
Awesome Work.
Great article!